yeah......

Well... since i have to go through a lot tomorrow.... i decided that i was going to have a great night tonight. so i went out and bought.... *drum roll*... Make-up! I shouldn't have... My counselor is going to be giving me some... but i just couldn't wait. i guess. Let me say... I feel good... and i'm not even wearing much at all...  but i still feel great!

to put things in a nutshell... my best friend gave up on trying to help me... and she isn't a friend to me anymore... and honestly i think she is/has conspired against me... but i dont know for sure... call it a gut feeling.  but whatever right?

...

...

...

An online friend of my... she just got engaged to her girlfriend... and it makes me wonder something.... am i going to wind up completly alone... will i ever find somebody to hold onto during scary movies or to be held by during a romantic movie/play? I mean... i can't even keep a friend.... how am i going to kee a boyfriend or whoever... it makes me feel shitty thinking this way.  but whatever right? hopefully i'll survive...